


never let you go

by longituddeonda



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Blood, Explosions, F/M, Love Confessions, Medical, probably some medical inaccuracies too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longituddeonda/pseuds/longituddeonda
Summary: “I thought I would take the Child. You should explore a bit. Restock some food. We’ll meet back in a few hours. You can go wherever,” he said, and you thought you could hear a smile through his voice.You blinked. You weren’t used to being treated like this. Mando had been suck a fragging dick, especially in the past couple weeks, you had begun to think he was going to fire you or something. He walked up to you, leaning down to grab the child from your arms.“Close up the ship when you decide to leave,” and the brusk shell was back up again.
Relationships: The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Reader
Kudos: 142





	never let you go

“Stay in the ship,” Mando yelled out, already running down the cargo door. 

You huffed, pulling the Child closer to your chest as you walked over and fiddled with the controls to seal the ship back up again. He said very little, yet managed to annoy you with every word he said. How did he survive with the kid before you showed up?

It must have gotten very little contact with others, which you had learned was not a good thing. Long stretches on the ship and the kid was likely to cause some damage the next time you stopped somewhere. Once it almost burnt down three stores and a small restaurant. Since then you made sure to constantly talk with it, take it for walks around the ship, show it pictures of the outside world. It freaking out within minutes of other people was no good for both itself and the safety of you and Mando.

You walked over to the little bed area that had been set up for the kid and set him down. It was always like this; Mando would go running off, not letting you come and help, and then would come back, say very little, and expect to be left alone so he could rest. You hadn’t gotten much sleep since you started traveling on the Razor Crest. It had started off okay, but he had grown colder and colder as the time went on. Given the shitty company now, the money was really the only thing keeping you on the ship. And how adorable the kid was. 

_ “Hey kid,” you had looked down to see a little green thing waddling around the legs of your chair, looking up at you with huge eyes. “What’cha doin’ down there?” _

_ It made a little babbling noise and reached it’s arms up. You chuckled as you lifted it up into your lap.  _

_ “So where’s your parent, huh?” you said, “Are they short and green like you?” _

_ “Bah,” it said. _

_ “Right,” you smiled, “So I guess you’re hanging out with me until they show up.” _

_ It seemed to be okay with that, given how it just lowered its huge ears and sat down, a little smile on its tiny mouth.  _

_ You hadn’t expected to spend so much time bumming around on the backwater planet, but you had been fired from your previous job after you asked for a raise, so you decided an extended vacation was in order. It was now a few months of making money at the spaceport, working for a guy who sold sheet metal, and occasionally providing support at the medcenter. You had hoped that they would take you on full time by now, especially given your experience, but the medcenter was painfully underfunded. Any hopes of a career there were destroyed.  _

_ It would have been smart to search for jobs on another planet with real openings, but you didn’t have enough disposable income to pay for your passage. It wasn’t so bad, the people here were nice and the bartender at this cantina would always throw in an extra drink or a side dish for you.  _

_ You looked down at the kid in your lap. It was cute, cuter than any other infant you had seen, and it had an adorable glint in its eyes that you had learned was the same in all children who liked to cause a bit of trouble. Finding a child wandering around alone was usually pretty concerning, but if it made it into the cantina, its parent was probably closeby. If more than 15 minutes went by, you told yourself, you would go searching. Until then, the kid was pretty content making little noises and pointing at things.  _

_ You felt someone staring at you and looked up. Not just staring, but someone was standing right over you and you hadn’t noticed.  _ A Mandalorian _. Shit. You didn’t know they still existed. _

_ “That’s mine,” the Mandalorian said, his voice heavily modulated. He pointed at your lap. You glanced down at the kid. _

_ “Shit!” you exclaimed, “Are you the dad?” _

_ The Mandalorian tilted its head in response. _

_ “...or the Mom?” you asked. To be fair, with the modulated voice, you weren’t entirely sure. It could be a woman under the mask. The heavy metal left very little clues to their identity. They were essentially a huge hunk of metal.  _

_ You had heard of Mandalorians. Everyone had. They were the figures of bedtime stories and fantastical tales of the wars. But they were scary as hell in the stories, and even scarier in person.  _

_ “I’m it’s caretaker,” he said.  _

_ You sighed, lifting the kid up from underneath its arms, handing it back, “it wandered over here. I was, uh, going to go find you if you didn’t show up in the next couple minutes.” _

_ The kid cooed in the Mandalorian’s arms and reached out his little hands towards you.  _

_ “Thank you,” he said.  _

_ You didn’t really know what to say to that. People didn’t say thank you much anymore, especially not Mandalorians. And anyone that might have assumed you stole their child. _

_ “You’re welcome?” It came out more as a question than an answer, at which you cringed. You knew it sounded bad, but you didn’t know what else to do. Somehow, the guy, within only a few seconds, made all conversation stunted and awkward. And he had only said seven words.  _

_ The Mandalorian had walked away, and you were content to call it a day. That was something you’d get to tell friends 10 years down the line. ‘Oh yeah, one time this weird looking green baby came over and sat with me until its caretaker found me. And guess what? The caretaker was a Mandalorian, and he said a few words to me.’ _

_ You returned to your meal. _

_ Later that day, you were walking back to your place, when someone stepped out from an alleyway, a few feet ahead of you, blocking your path. It was the Mandalorian from earlier, looking down at you, the kid in some sort of spherical carrier floating beside him. _

_ He turned and looked right at you, and quirked his helmet in a way you could only describe as recognition.  _

_ “I’ve been looking for you,” he said.  _

_ Fragging hell _ . _ That can’t be good.  _

_ “You were good with the kid,” he continued, “I think he misses you.” _

_ “What?” you were truly shocked. How could the kid miss you? It spent 5 minutes at most with you. And why would a Mandalorian even care if a kid in its care liked someone? _

_ “I would like for you to join me,” he said, “The kid needs someone to watch after it. I can’t bring it with me on my jobs. I can pay.” _

_ “How much?” that was important. You were at the point where any job was a good one, and one that got you off this planet? Even better. _

_ “Enough,” he said, “You won’t have to worry about food and living expenses either.” _

_ You figured it would at least be interesting. Traveling with a Mandalorian? That wasn’t something many people got to do. And the pair were curious. If they were going to pay you to be a babysitter, that was something you could do. Easy money. _

_ “Okay,” you smiled, “I’ll do it.” _

_ You didn’t think the Mandalorian was even expecting you to say yes, because he straightened up, raised his arm, and then paused, unsure of what to say. It was only after a stretched-out moment that he responded.  _

_ “Good. Get your things. Meet us at the spaceport. We leave this planet in two hours,” his voice was firm, and the modulator removed practically all emotion from it. You couldn’t do much more than nod as he walked away.  _

You had grown to love the little one. It spent more time with you than anyone else, so it saw you as its source of food and comfort. Of course, however long Mando had been traveling with it had left its mark and occasionally, it would wander off to find him, wanting to play or just be held by the man. You dreaded those moments because as much as Mando liked the kid, he would always get mad at you. Telling you off for not caring for the kid with a close enough eye. If you were lucky, and it was a moment when he had the time, while mad he would still indulge the kid, but not before bringing you almost to tears. 

The worst, however, was that despite all the pain he caused, you couldn’t control the way your heart clenched at the rare sight of him playing with the Child. Somewhere along the line, you began to care about him too. No matter how frustrating he was.

The kid was falling asleep in its little spot, and you sank to the ground right underneath him, exhausted. You hadn’t gotten any sleep in the last couple days, any downtime had been reserved for Mando to get some half-assed rest. You never believed he was actually sleeping since he didn’t take off any of the armor and held his blaster tight the whole time. 

Your eyes were starting to drift shut when the cargo door hissed open. You jumped up, knowing Mando would be there. You didn’t want to think you were sleeping on the job or anything. When the door finally hit the ground, Mando walked into the ship, taking in you standing, almost at attention, next to a sleeping child. It was probably exactly what he wanted to see. 

“I’m going to go looking for work here. The fighting has calmed down. I don’t think they’ll start up again. It’s safe for you and the kid,” he said.

Well, that was nice. He admitted to caring about your safety  _ and _ would let you leave the ship? There was a first for everything. 

You turned around to shake the Child awake and pick it up before turning back to Mando.

“So what do you expect us to do?” you asked.

“I thought I would take the Child. You should explore a bit. Restock some food. We’ll meet back in a few hours. You can go wherever,” he said, and you thought you could hear a smile through his voice. 

You blinked. You weren’t used to being treated like this. Mando had been suck a fragging dick, especially in the past couple weeks, you had begun to think he was going to fire you or something. He walked up to you, leaning down to grab the child from your arms. 

“Close up the ship when you decide to leave,” and the brusk shell was back up again. 

You walked to the back of the cargo bay where you had your little closet of belongings and pulled out your bag. It had pretty much everything you owned except your clothes, and while it might have been impractical to bring some med tools and the few items you considered valuables, unpacking would have been too much work. 

You ran off the ship, breathing in the fresh air and almost jumping in excitement as you closed the cargo door. 

Looking around, the city you had landed in was beautiful. It was dotted with canals, winding between buildings in place of roads, and small walkways crossed over the water like spiderwebs. The buildings were short, two stories at most, made of dark wood and white walls. In the distance, huge rocks sprung up, covered in the most vibrant colors of vegetation you could imagine. 

This place was paradise. You wondered how stunning places like this were forgotten by the Republic, even if they were in the outer rim. 

To your left was a stone street lined by two stone walls. Small wooden gates and huge durasteel emblems were set into the short barriers, and the tops of roofs peaked over. There were plants everywhere. You almost started crying. 

You grew up in a village on the plains of a mid-rim planet and left early for the big city where you studied medicine. You never got to see beautiful places like this. 

Mando had said there had been fighting earlier, but you couldn’t even imagine it. There weren’t many people on the streets, and no damage was visible. Then again, you hadn’t heard whatever Mando had when he ran off. It must have been further away. 

What would you do with a few hours of freedom? You needed to find someplace to restock your food supply, but that could wait. You wanted caf. Setting out down the stone pathway, you searched for a place to sit down and grab something to eat. 

When you finally found a little restaurant and were seated on a small balcony overlooking one of the canals, waiting on a cup of caf and a plate of whatever the local cuisine was, you finally let a few tears slip out. There were two emotions going through your head, and they were both so intense you couldn’t keep it in.

For one, you never imagined you would get to be someplace like this. Your best hopes for your life were inside a medcenter, maybe on a nice planet, where you would specialize in surgery or emergency response, and it wouldn’t even really matter what the world was like outside. That was all you ever let yourself hope for. You were only now realizing how much you were missing out. How much you should have hoped for. How much you could have been living for. 

On the other hand, you were almost at the point of shaking at the realization that, even if just for a few hours, you were free from the stress of interacting with Mando, and he was acting nice. Well, as nice as you thought Mando knew how to be. He wasn’t a people person nor a talker, much rather using as few words to get a message across, no matter how much the lack of substance would hurt someone. You had learned that when he said it was safe you that was about as much of an admission of compassion as he could muster up. 

The waiter returned to your table, placing down your order and you thanked him as he walked away again. You started out at the canal, noticing as more and more people had been showing up in the past 15 minutes. It now looked like the normal bustle of a decent-sized city on the outer rim. 

People here dressed in bright colors and appeared to be walking just for the sake of walking. Their presence wasn’t necessarily causing any additional noise, the city was still very much quiet; the wind and ripple of the water were prominent features in the sound it made. 

A building about 100 meters down the canal burst open. The white noise cut out, and for a brief moment, all you could see was the slow fall of debris into the water. 

When your hearing returned, people were screaming. A bridge collapsed near the explosion, dumping about ten people into the water. It didn’t look like they’d make it. Another building, closer to you now, burst into flames, glass and wood splitting and flying everywhere. You didn’t know where to look. It was like your whole body just stopped working, and you were frozen to your chair.

An explosion from behind you got you to your feet as you watched the entrance to the restaurant you were at engulfed in flames. The only way off the balcony was through the building. You were stuck. Turning around, you gauged the distance to the walkway below. You could probably make the jump. Probably. 

There was no other visible option, so you grabbed your bag and held it tight with one arm across your chest. You sprung over the ledge, and in less than a second, you were rolling onto the stone below. It hurt, but not as much as you expected. 

Glancing around, the whole city looked like it was on fire, bridges were collapsing left and right, and the explosions continued, sending bits of splintered wood throughout the air. The fire reflected on the canals would have been beautiful if you weren’t worried about your life. You spotted what looked like an alleyway a few meters down and ran into it, searching for a way out that wasn’t filled with flames. 

Winding your way out of the city, you were starting to distance yourself from the chaos. People had brought out blasters after a few minutes and had begun shooting. You were pretty sure you were outside the range of fire, but the explosions were definitely not over.

You looked up in time to see a building toppling into the street, slowly then very fast, dust pluming up all around it, blocking your path, and when you turned around, the bridge you just crossed was now floating in the water. You were trapped. 

You could count five people who were caught near the building and looked injured. A few others had rushed over and were looking over the bodies, unsure of what to do. 

“Hey!” you yelled, going into crisis mode, pointing at people and places as you shouted instructions. “Carry the injured over there, into that shop! And back off if you’re just going to stand there.”

You had noticed that the one little shop that looked like it had withstood a few blasts, would probably withstand a few more before collapsing, and would definitely give a bit of shelter so you could work. Running over to the rubble, you were happy to see the locals assisting to carry the bodies into the shop. 

Glancing at the ones being carried, you winced. One had a large piece of wood sprouting from their stomach and looked like they probably had a broken arm. Another was covered in blood, probably a cracked skull, and definitely some severe abrasions. 

Someone called you over, “what do we do with this one?”

You looked down. There was a man, unconscious but apparently alive, one leg stuck under a large beam. You knew the answer to the question immediately, but you didn’t like it. 

His leg was gone, shattered into bits underneath the wood. If he was going to make it, the leg would have to go. You knelt down, but you didn’t have anything big enough to saw through the leg.

“Can someone find me a saw? Or a big knife? Or something?” you asked the few people gathered around you. You knew it didn’t sound good, but it was a necessary action.

A half an hour later, you were kneeling on the floor in the shop, 7 people in total had been under your temporary care. Most of the people who helped you move them had left shortly after, probably not able to stomach the sight, but a few had lingered, assisting you in removing wood splinters and bandaging surface wounds. Four of the patients were able to walk away within 20 minutes. 

The amputation was definitely the worst of it, and they guy needed attention at a medcenter. There was only so much you could do here. By now, though, you were alone. There wasn’t much left to do beyond applying some bacta patches and making sure your amputee and the woman who had a bad puncture wound in her stomach didn’t die before help arrived. 

You looked up and Mando was staring down at you from the doorway, chest heaving heavily, the Child wrapped up under his arm. 

“What are you doing standing there?” you asked, glad to see he was alive. The adrenaline didn’t leave much room to think about where he had been, but your thoughts were now sliding down a dangerous path. What if the Child had died? What if Mando had died? If you were left alone here? No matter what, they had become your family for the time being? What would you do if they were gone? Where would you have—

“You’re alive,” Mando interrupted your thoughts. He sounded relieved. 

“Yes, I am,” you said, his words were just enough to clear your head. You looked down at one of your patients, more blood was seeping out from under a bacta patch. “Can you find me some fabric? I need to stitch up this wound and mop up some of the blood.”

“I—” Mando started, but seemed to second guess what he was going to say.

“Can you or not? She’s bleeding,” you said.

“Yes,” he nodded, finally setting down the child and moving from his spot in the doorway to search the room for fabric.

Hours later you were finally back on the Razor Crest. The Child was asleep in your arms, as you sat cross-legged on the floor, completely drained. Whatever adrenaline high you were riding on was long gone, and you had very little energy left. Mando was up in the cockpit, directing the ship out of orbit.

The turbulence reached a peak when you felt the jolt entering into hyperspace, and everything was still again. You were so tired you couldn’t notice the change, the shaking of an unbalanced stack of crates your only indicator of motion.

There was a thud in front of you and you glanced up. Mando had jumped down into the cargo bay and was standing above you.

“You need to sleep,” he said. 

He was right, but you weren’t expecting  _ him _ to say it. He reached down to pry the Child from your arms and his gloved hand brushed across your cheek. You wanted to believe it was a mistake, but you couldn’t ignore that your cheek was nowhere along the shortest path from where he stood to the kid. It was an innocent but caring gesture and you smiled.

“Go take the bed, I’ve got him for the night,” he said. You couldn’t protest. Your body felt like it was going to fall apart. 

You dragged yourself up off the floor and to the back of the ship. As soon as you hit the hard pallet, you were sound asleep. 

Hours later, you woke up, feeling considerably more refreshed. The ship wasn’t humming like it usually did, so you assumed Mando had found another planet to land on. You wandered into the refresher to clean up a bit before climbing up into the cockpit to retrieve the Child. 

“Morning,” Mando said as soon as your head peaked into the space. 

“Good morning to you too?” you said, “did you get any sleep?”

“A bit,” he nodded. He was sitting in the pilot’s seat, chair swiveled to a 90 degree from the controls, his feet up on the dashboard. The Child’s bassinet was empty, it had likely crawled into Mando’s lap overnight, where it was currently curled up asleep. 

You sat down in one of the other chairs, and Mando brought his legs down and turned to face you.

“I wasn’t born a Mandalorian,” he started, “I was a foundling. I was a kid and my city was being attacked. The Mandalorians saved us, but not before my parents were killed in a blast.”

You didn’t know any of that, and you had no idea what prompted him telling you. He never said anything of the personal nature.

“What?” you asked, knowing he was waiting for a response. That was all you had.

“I, uh, I realize you don’t know anything about me,” he bowed his head, “and it’s become clear that I don’t know anything about you either. We’ve been traveling for all these months and I hardly know who you are, other than that you are good with the kid.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to know anything,” you said, not sure where the conversation was headed, “You always seemed so… distant.”

“And for that I am sorry,” he said, raising his head up again, “Can you forgive me?”

“Of course!” you were so scared that calling him distant would earn you a cold shoulder, an apology was so far from the realm of possibility that you found yourself clinging to anything that would keep this going. 

You liked this side of Mando. You had pushed your feelings down for so long, they seemed so unjustified when he was so cold, but now? Now you felt your heart growing again at his vulnerability. This was the Mando you cared deeply about. The one you worried would not return when he rushed out to fight, leaving you and the Child on the ship.

“I know I haven’t been the most friendly of traveling companions,” he said. “But yesterday, when the city erupted, I didn’t know where you were. I was so worried. If you had died I don’t know what I would have done with myself. I finally found that shop, and the blood spilling out of it. Your jacket—”

He stopped, and you weren’t sure why. A muffled noise made it through the modulator, and you weren’t sure if it was the sound of tears or something else.

“Your jacket was on the ground out there, and I thought—I thought you were dead. And then you were in there, helping those people. A city was burning around you, and you weren’t trying to survive, you were just trying to help others.”

“Mando, I was just doing what I know how to do. I’m a doctor, a doctor without a job, but a doctor nonetheless,” you said.

“I didn’t know. I couldn’t have. I spent all this time trying to keep you safe, you and the kid, that I never thought you could hold your own. I stopped to think you didn’t need the protection. For that, I am also very sorry.”

“It’s fine, Mando,” you said.

“It’s not. Y/N, I care about you. Doing this, around the galaxy, you’re so gentle with everyone you meet. You want everyone around you to be happy.”

You felt a warm feeling in your chest. He had noticed you, even when you thought he didn’t. He had grown to care about you as you did him. 

“Mando, this here? With you and the Child? This is as close to a family I’ve felt in a long time,” you said. “Despite you being an asshole sometimes, I was sent away from home early on. I was in boarding schools for a long time and didn’t have a life outside of work when I was in the medcenters there. It’s nice having people who watch your back.”

“I didn’t mean as a family,” he said, and you tensed up, a little hurt until he started again, “I meant as something more? I like you, Y/N. I’ve developed… feelings for you.”

You smiled. He obviously wasn’t used to talking about his emotions. You reached out to grab his hand, careful not to bump the Child in the process. You scooted to the edge of your chair, and leaned forward, getting as close to his face as you could, staring right into the space of his mask. You placed your forehead on his, the only bit of intimacy you could figure out how to do with a metal bucket preventing you from kissing him.

“Me too, Mando, me too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> posted originally on my tumblr (@longitud-de-onda) as a requested fic for @evanfan96


End file.
